I read with amusement Shelly Karlin’s letter about composting turkeys in the November 29 issue of The Bridge. (I assume it was tongue-in-cheek, but so craftily written, I have a sliver of doubt.) The letter also made me recall an impulsive decision we made three to four years ago.
My spouse was out of town that Thanksgiving with an ailing parent, so we had a small gathering: me, my two kids, one kid’s spouse, and the other’s friend. After dinner, we decided that rather than putting the turkey in the trash or composting it, the best thing we could do for the environment and all our fellow creatures was to just throw it in the woods behind the house! Brilliant! We envisioned a delighted animal nibbling on the turkey meat, manna from heaven. Why hadn’t we thought of this before?
Now, I had no business hosting a Thanksgiving that year, because we were experiencing a very slowly draining sewer main and our toilets could only be flushed infrequently. As one might predict, somebody needed to relieve themselves. It was decided that, again, the woods were the best option. Then we remembered the carcass! A bear could come! This could be dangerous. Still, we risked it. A lookout was assigned, a shovel was found, and in the end, no bears were sighted. And this will go down as the most dramatic, joyful, and memorable Thanksgiving of my life.
Postscript: The carcass was gone by morning. I got blowback from friends for putting out bones that could splinter and kill a fox. Next time, I think I’ll make a bone broth and feed the softened bones to my dogs. (Since bone broths require a long simmer, that may not be the most environmentally sound choice… although we do have an induction cooktop!)
Lydia Gregoret
Lexington Road
