By Wilson Kerr — Columnist
For most of us, love is complex. It requires maintenance, each instance varied and unique. But pets allow us to experience another form of love. A rare, pure version — breathtaking in its simplicity.
Dogs are pack animals, programmed by their remnant wolf DNA to give themselves over to a family. To bond. Their love is unconditional and without limit. If you have ever owned a dog, you know this to be true. But this gift comes at a price, for it is paired with heartbreak and sorrow as deep and profound as the love itself.
At 8 weeks, my wife and I picked her up at Clint’s house in Brookline. Missing her momma and littermates, she cried for two nights in the secondhand crate I found in Lexington. But she was ours to care for, to raise, to love and to receive love from. In the midst of our struggles to have children, our sweet Lunabelle was a salve, a bridge that connected us and eased our pain.
Her bluetick coonhound father gave her jowls, long floppy ears, and a “working dog” stand-offish demeanor. Smart and free-spirited, she let her nose guide her, running through the woods baying and bawling and connecting to her wild roots. Her chocolate Lab mother gave her a sweet, gentle side — a part of her personality she reserved almost entirely for us.
Anchoring the family
She was there when we brought both our daughters home from the hospital. Through 13+ years of adventures and ups and downs and trials and tribulations, she has anchored our family, loving us unconditionally. Her sweet, knowing brown eyes a reminder that true love is not only possible, but it’s right there in front of us, every day.
To curl up with her and to speak into her warm fur is to feel a connection that is pure. She listens and reflects the love silently back, every single time, without judgement. A gift of acceptance and reassurance valuable beyond measure.
Margaret Renkl described this in a New York Times piece:
“A dog loves a person the way people love each other only while in the grip of new love: with intense, unwavering focus, attentive to every move the beloved makes, unaware of imperfections, desiring little more than to be close, to be entwined, to touch and touch and touch.”
But owning a dog comes with a bitter bargain. At some point, we must contemplate the unthinkable and make plans to help our best friend slip away. The finality, the purposeful ending of a life, comes with profound grief. Friends who have been through it describe it as one of the hardest moments of their lives. I feel it coming, and I am dreading it.
‘Share her joy’
Author Dean Koontz lost his beloved golden retriever Trixie and wrote to help him process his sorrow:
“Dogs’ lives are short, too short, but you know that going in. You know the pain is coming, you’re going to lose a dog, and there’s going to be great anguish, so you live fully in the moment with her. Never fail to share her joy or delight in her innocence. … There’s such beauty in the hard honesty of that, in accepting and giving love while always aware that it comes with an unbearable price.”
Our sweet Lunabelle is declining. Our girls understand it, and our sadness fuels long snuggles, breathing in the warm smell of her fur, and lavishing her with gourmet treats, even as we discuss where she will be buried. The contradiction is hard to bear. My wife and I thank her every day for the walks in the woods, for the gifts she has given us and the lessons she has taught us. For her love. For the unwavering loyalty and companionship. We will miss her deeply.
Dogs give us the gift of living in the moment. Accept this gift as you spend Time Outdoors with yours this holiday season or when they lean into you for a pat. Savor each of these moments as the best part of the bargain. Love them as deeply as they love you, for this love is the greatest love there is.
_________________
Wilson Kerr lives in Concord and is an avid outdoorsman and amateur naturalist. This monthly column is written to help grow awareness of the wonders of nature. In this increasingly fast-paced and technology-packed world, it is important to stop and take in the beauty of our area and the animals that inhabit it. The author hopes this column will be read by families and used as a teaching tool and that you will spend more… Time Outdoors.
